Unexpected Life

Have you ever had something in your life that changes everything?  Of course you have.  That's everyday, right?  Well, think bigger. The events that keep us up at night and consume our thoughts.  Death, birth, moving, marriage, divorce..... all the big stuff.  It's the God moments. Times when you have to see Him in the middle of what's happening.  The story of my sweet Benjamin was one of those moments.  He was our only unplanned baby.  When the docs say you shouldn't have more children, you listen.  That's not always how things go.  My pregnancies are vicious.  Morning sickness isn't exactly confined to the morning for me.  It's 24/7 from the beginning of pregnancy until delivery.  I'm the one who loses about 20 pounds during my 8 months.  That's right, eight months... never longer.

The news of my little miracle came with a visit to the doc for something else.  With the proper tests, I left with the news of baby number four was on the way!  Many of you walked that walk with me and prayed me through all the midnight runs to the hospital when he tried to come.. what, about a million different times!!!  Heavily medicated I would return back home to spend another day on bed rest.  The contractions would start and I would time them for hours, and as long as they didn't get down to 5 minutes apart, I was safe and we had one more day behind us.  This went on for weeks.  Women start loving those little people growing inside them so very early on.  Me... I loved him, but I was terrified for him.

Needless to say, my every thought was consumed by this little person I carried.  I was heavily medicated daily so that I wouldn't give birth.  The docs just wanted to try and help me reach the 35th week.  Well, on day 6 of the 34th week that medicine just stopped working.  Walking through my house that night he started coming. We called a dear friend that was to meet us at the hospital to watch the girls.  She started on her way.  Everyone made it to the van.... dead battery!  Fantastic.  I'm in the front seat hoping not to deliver in my driveway and my husband was trying to locate the jumper cables.  Van started and we were off.  I don't remember actually going in the door of the hospital but I remember us zooming down the hall.  Girls running behind as fast as they could go.  My friend.. she made it there in warp speed.  We don't discuss how fast she drove, she made it, and that was all we knew.  Some moments you never forget, like rounding the corner near the nurses station in a full run and their faces.... priceless.  Everyone began to run and yell.... the movie type of delivery.  Everyone telling me not to push.  I don't have to push, my body just delivers the babies.... crazy.. I know, but true.  So, within 45 minutes of arriving at the front door, we welcomed Benjamin!

He's an amazing little guy.  He never meets a stranger.  He loves all my friends and thinks the world of his family.  If you're one of his favorites he has to look at your picture on my facebook page.  He's a big Bon Jovi fan, completely my fault.  He's totally in love with God but can't figure out why we can't go hang out with Him.  His compassion for others astounds me, and he has taught me to love deeply.  Each day he reminds me that life is unexpected.  Life happens.  Life might be hard, but there is joy to be experienced.  Life is full of love and you better hang on to it with all you have!

Do you have events in your life that have changed you and made you see the world in a different way?

Having Fun!

In learning to live life as an adventure the first step is to care a little less what others might be thinking of you.  This is why I can sing in the grocery store.  Not just sing to myself... my family breaks out in song and if room allows, we are dancing down the aisle.  We simply have fun.

When the other three children were asleep my oldest daughter got out of bed to give me a hug.  She said I was the best mom.  I asked why am I the best mom, and the answer she gave me wasn't what I was expecting.  She explained it was because I took them to all the things they wanted to do.  I made sure they had food and clean clothes, and I never got to have any fun because I was always taking care of them.  Oh my, I was humbled but a bit heartbroken.  She didn't think I had fun.  Okay, I'm not the go out on the town type of girl, but I don't miss it.  I don't date. That's just not where I am at this point in my life.  I'm a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend.  I have so much love in my life that I don't consider myself missing anything. I am blessed.  So I posed the question to her, "Hey, don't we have fun?" She laughed and said I'm sillier than any mom she knows.  There... I'm fun, in my own way.  Society has defined fun for her mind in that if I'm not out going and doing that I must be miserable.  Hardly.  I love my life.  I love my friends!  That's right, you know who you are.  I love my family, and they get me.  Fun... well, I'm just getting started.  Life for me is defined by the smiles I feel.

So, the next time you see me and my fabulous four out and we're being loud and silly, know that my heart is full, my mind is free and my life is being lived completely!

The title of this blog is actually an idea for a book for fantastic family fun ideas.  What's your idea of fun with your kids?

Sanctuary

Did you ever have the dream of who you could be when you were little?  The "what do you want to be" question answered in your mind at a point in time when you sat in school and read about some amazing person doing the stuff of life?  Dreams of becoming an archaeologist, an astronaut, a deep sea diver, a pirate, a firefighter, a teacher..... you get the point.  Well, I remember the day I wanted to become a writer.  I was in Mrs. Brown's third grade classroom and she had given us a creative writing assignment.  I finished mine and read it through just once more before I turned it in.... my masterpiece. I was so very proud.  I kept that paper.  It was my encouragement to keep writing.

My writing is my sanctuary. You have yours whether it's hunting, fishing, exercising, making music, dancing, or perhaps writing is where you find yourself too.  The key is to live that part of your life with great passion.

So, what is it that defines you?  When do you feel you are the best YOU that you can possibly be?

And so it begins......

If you think about it, life is about how you build your world around you.  Life happens, you learn from it, you build a greater sense of who you are, and you move on ready for the next event that will change you in some way giving you more tools to work with.  Sounds lovely, right?  No, it can be painful.  It can be tearful.  It can be hurtful.  It can be joyful.  No matter what happens, it's all necessary.

This is my journey.  We build sandcastles in the summer and snow forts in the winter.  Life with my four children who each have shown me life can be amazing if you live it with a little bit of laughter along the way.
This is my journey as a single mom.  All the ups and some of the downs just so you'll know life is real.
This is my journey as I wait for my first book to be published and the process I'm going through.
This is my journey as I rediscover the love of God.
This is my journey as I tell God that's His power bill on the counter and I would appreciate if He would pay it soon.
This is my journey as I become a healthier me.
This is my journey with a screwdriver in one hand and a hammer in the other... life can be fixed... or made to work temporarily if you can be patient with just the tools you have.
This is my journey with family and friends that cheer me on, cry with me when necessary, share their chocolate, and find endless ways to laugh with me.

Join me if you will.  We'll be taking off soon, so buckle up.  Life isn't a smooth ride, but I wouldn't miss it for anything!