Friday, September 9, 2011

Let's Celebrate A Challenge

I'm always up for a challenge. I'm a single mom of four, my days are filled with challenges. However, today I'm talking about a writing challenge. I have the honor of being a part of the Platform Building Campaign Challenge at Rach Writes. I linked in at the last moment at #384. You can go there and click the "like" if you like.
These are the directions for our first challenge:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)
For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!


So without further delay, I give you.... 
A Heart Mended

The door swung open. She had heard the familiar knock that said ‘I’m here, I love you’. His funny knock that she had once looked forward to hearing, and the knock that haunted her days, thinking she would never hear it again. She had heard his knock, while sitting on the couch, coffee in hand, dreaming of him. And now, after all this time, there he stood. Time melted away. 

So many years were stolen from them. So many misunderstandings. Her heart began to pound in her chest. This was it. This was the moment she had waited for, and now, there were no words. All she thought she would say, she couldn’t. All she thought she would do, she didn’t. Her happily ever after was standing before her, ring in hand.  So many tears. So many years. So much unnecessary pain. He had left. A heartless goodbye. Yet her heart carried hope. She longed for his return. Praying forgiveness into her soul. No other’s love could compare to the love she carried for him. 

Hurt runs deep. Scars misshape love into something dark. Time passes. Instantly a heart is healed. She sighs, steps back inside. The door swings shut.





Posted by Sand Castles and Snow Forts at 10:36 PM

30 comments:

  1. Jessica TherrienSeptember 9, 2011 at 10:43 PM

    Oooo. So many questions. Where did he go and why? I'm definitely intrigued :) Great story!

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  2. DoreenSeptember 9, 2011 at 11:02 PM

    Oh Vanessa great job! I want to read the WHOLE story:)
    Stop over I have more stress for you[Just Kidding]

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  3. julie feddersonSeptember 9, 2011 at 11:20 PM

    What a homecoming! It is amazing how forgiving the heart can be. Great job!

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  4. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 12:53 AM

    Really interseting. I want to know what happened. Mine is #72

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  5. catherinemjohnson.comSeptember 10, 2011 at 6:28 AM

    This is lovely so emotional, it really pulls at the heart strings.

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  6. UnknownSeptember 10, 2011 at 7:09 AM

    I was really glad she shut the door in the end, and definitely would like to know more. Great story Vanessa.

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  7. yikiciSeptember 10, 2011 at 7:50 AM

    Such emotions weaved into such a small space, lovely story; definately want to hear more.

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  8. Sand Castles and Snow FortsSeptember 10, 2011 at 8:05 AM

    Thanks everyone! This one was fun to write.

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  9. J.L. CampbellSeptember 10, 2011 at 8:53 AM

    Yes, I'd definitely want to read on to see why he left in the first place.

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  10. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 10:04 AM

    Great job. That really pulls at the ol' heartstrings and a nice hook for more.

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  11. UnknownSeptember 10, 2011 at 10:10 AM

    Amazing how time can help heal all wounds. Happy to see "her" door swing shut on the pain. Such raw emotion here. Nice job! :)

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  12. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 10:50 AM

    LOVED this! Excellent job portraying the emotion in such few words.

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  13. Sand Castles and Snow FortsSeptember 10, 2011 at 11:16 AM

    You guys are such great encouragement!

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  14. Eliza TiltonSeptember 10, 2011 at 11:20 AM

    nice!

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  15. SylviaSeptember 10, 2011 at 12:48 PM

    This is really very nice. I love 'Time melted away.' There are some really nice moments in this and you've said them so very well. *like* :)

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  16. MariaSeptember 10, 2011 at 1:20 PM

    I'm intrigued, want to know more. ;-)

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  17. StobbySeptember 10, 2011 at 1:42 PM

    I understand that you only have 200 words but it's very much tell and not show. It's an interesting idea but I would have liked the story to have stayed in the moment more than backtrack. Does she fix her hair and check her breath before she sees him? Is she surprised by his receding hair line?....that like of thing.

    Just my 2 cents for what they're worth. :)

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  18. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    Lovely post. Well writen. Couldn't find anything wrong.

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  19. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 3:12 PM

    Wonderful story. I want more LOL I have so many questions LOL

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  20. KimberlySeptember 10, 2011 at 8:54 PM

    Wow, what a great amount of emotion in so few words. It is very nice.

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  21. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 10:13 PM

    I love the way you used short sentences throughout this excerpt. It really added to the tension of the moment.

    Nicely done!

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  22. Claire RobynsSeptember 11, 2011 at 5:04 AM

    Heart-achingly emotional. I loved the short, poetry-like ending, and I'm not entirely sure if he'd actually returned or if it was only in her head, because she steps back inside but there's no mention of him following her in.
    So many questions, but all good!

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  23. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    You've pushed the emotion button with this entry. :) You show how much turmoil she's went through when she lost him, and how her hope for mending thing.

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  24. The Writing WellSeptember 11, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    Great work here Vanessa, fellow campaigner stopping by to say hi. I look forward to reading more of your work. Will visit back soon.

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  25. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2011 at 1:09 PM

    Hi there, I'm another campaigner stopping by :)

    I love this entry! So many emotions run through it so quickly . . . but I especially love that hope is the underlying one in the whole piece!

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  26. Deniz BevanSeptember 11, 2011 at 4:09 PM

    Oh no! I do hope she's made the right choice...

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  27. Shannon LawrenceSeptember 11, 2011 at 8:14 PM

    So sad. :( Well done! This raises so many questions.

    Mine is number 291: http://thewarriormuse.blogspot.com/2011/09/first-campaign-challenge-flash-fiction.html

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  28. David P. KingSeptember 12, 2011 at 10:47 AM

    Such an excellent voice your character has! The desire and uncertainty mesh wonderfully.

    Great job! :)

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  29. Margo KellySeptember 12, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    Wow! Great job. :)

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  30. NickSeptember 13, 2011 at 1:13 AM

    I'm so intrigued! Nice work here :)

    I'm #383, http://bit.ly/p1sCwZ :)

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