Friday, September 9, 2011

Let's Celebrate A Challenge

I'm always up for a challenge. I'm a single mom of four, my days are filled with challenges. However, today I'm talking about a writing challenge. I have the honor of being a part of the Platform Building Campaign Challenge at Rach Writes. I linked in at the last moment at #384. You can go there and click the "like" if you like.
These are the directions for our first challenge:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)

For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!


So without further delay, I give you.... 
A Heart Mended

The door swung open. She had heard the familiar knock that said ‘I’m here, I love you’. His funny knock that she had once looked forward to hearing, and the knock that haunted her days, thinking she would never hear it again. She had heard his knock, while sitting on the couch, coffee in hand, dreaming of him. And now, after all this time, there he stood. Time melted away. 

So many years were stolen from them. So many misunderstandings. Her heart began to pound in her chest. This was it. This was the moment she had waited for, and now, there were no words. All she thought she would say, she couldn’t. All she thought she would do, she didn’t. Her happily ever after was standing before her, ring in hand.  So many tears. So many years. So much unnecessary pain. He had left. A heartless goodbye. Yet her heart carried hope. She longed for his return. Praying forgiveness into her soul. No other’s love could compare to the love she carried for him. 

Hurt runs deep. Scars misshape love into something dark. Time passes. Instantly a heart is healed. She sighs, steps back inside. The door swings shut.





30 comments:

  1. Oooo. So many questions. Where did he go and why? I'm definitely intrigued :) Great story!

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  2. Oh Vanessa great job! I want to read the WHOLE story:)
    Stop over I have more stress for you[Just Kidding]

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  3. What a homecoming! It is amazing how forgiving the heart can be. Great job!

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  4. Really interseting. I want to know what happened. Mine is #72

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  5. This is lovely so emotional, it really pulls at the heart strings.

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  6. I was really glad she shut the door in the end, and definitely would like to know more. Great story Vanessa.

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  7. Such emotions weaved into such a small space, lovely story; definately want to hear more.

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  8. Yes, I'd definitely want to read on to see why he left in the first place.

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  9. Great job. That really pulls at the ol' heartstrings and a nice hook for more.

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  10. Amazing how time can help heal all wounds. Happy to see "her" door swing shut on the pain. Such raw emotion here. Nice job! :)

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  11. LOVED this! Excellent job portraying the emotion in such few words.

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  12. This is really very nice. I love 'Time melted away.' There are some really nice moments in this and you've said them so very well. *like* :)

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  13. I'm intrigued, want to know more. ;-)

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  14. I understand that you only have 200 words but it's very much tell and not show. It's an interesting idea but I would have liked the story to have stayed in the moment more than backtrack. Does she fix her hair and check her breath before she sees him? Is she surprised by his receding hair line?....that like of thing.

    Just my 2 cents for what they're worth. :)

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  15. Lovely post. Well writen. Couldn't find anything wrong.

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  16. Wonderful story. I want more LOL I have so many questions LOL

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  17. Wow, what a great amount of emotion in so few words. It is very nice.

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  18. I love the way you used short sentences throughout this excerpt. It really added to the tension of the moment.

    Nicely done!

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  19. Heart-achingly emotional. I loved the short, poetry-like ending, and I'm not entirely sure if he'd actually returned or if it was only in her head, because she steps back inside but there's no mention of him following her in.
    So many questions, but all good!

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  20. You've pushed the emotion button with this entry. :) You show how much turmoil she's went through when she lost him, and how her hope for mending thing.

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  21. Great work here Vanessa, fellow campaigner stopping by to say hi. I look forward to reading more of your work. Will visit back soon.

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  22. Hi there, I'm another campaigner stopping by :)

    I love this entry! So many emotions run through it so quickly . . . but I especially love that hope is the underlying one in the whole piece!

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  23. Oh no! I do hope she's made the right choice...

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  24. So sad. :( Well done! This raises so many questions.

    Mine is number 291: http://thewarriormuse.blogspot.com/2011/09/first-campaign-challenge-flash-fiction.html

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  25. Such an excellent voice your character has! The desire and uncertainty mesh wonderfully.

    Great job! :)

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  26. I'm so intrigued! Nice work here :)

    I'm #383, http://bit.ly/p1sCwZ :)

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